The Puppy

I met the Puppy about 3 years ago I think… wow time flies!! We met at the local watering hole. Seemed like a decent guy. Little did I know. We had a bunch of stuff in common, excellent kisser! On paper we were a great couple. Trouble is, is that you can’t trust the paper. The main problem with him at the time was that he just irritated the hell out of me. More often than not everything that came out of his mouth pushed every button I have. Almost all of our conversations turned into arguments. Mostly they ended with him saying to me “I really don’t want to argue with you” to which I have to say “then don’t pee when you are on the phone with me” Yeah he did.
However he could really make me laugh. Like full on snorting in public laugh. Still can the bastard.

To be totally honest I really wasn’t all that into him, but I was bored at the time and needed a little ego boost. He was pretty to look at and had a killer bod. We nicknamed him the Puppy because he used to blow up my phone all day long. He was always chatting me up, or following me around the bar… not in a stalker kind of way, but like a little puppy. Every girl needs a puppy now and then. Doesn’t she?

So eventually we tapered off and pretty much just became friends. He started dating this one chick named Dot…. Yup Dot….. We all referred to her as WWW. What?
Anyway she was crazy psycho and totally stalked him. That was entertaining to watch. (I’m so going to hell)
We stopped talking after he got all involved with the wrong crowd and started doing drugs and getting arrested for DUII’s and stupid crap like that. However he keeps resurfacing.

The first time he asked me why we stopped talking and I told him it was because he effed up and started hanging with the wrong crowd. He swore he was done with all that and that he was “back baby!” That lasted about 3 months and then he was arrested again.

Second time he came back he showed up at the bar like the day after he got out of jail to “celebrate”. I ended up taking him home with me because he had no ride home, no money for a cab, and I didn’t want to drive him to Gresham. I SWEAR it was to sleep on my couch. I’m not even joking when I say that he TEXT me FROM the couch to tell me that he didn’t like the couch. Now for those of you who don’t know, my house is about 700-800 square feet, and there are no doors. Archways, but no doors. You can lay on the couch and see my bed. AND THE DUMBASS TEXT ME FROM THE COUCH! I had to get up and go to the kitchen counter to read the text message. “Fine!” I say “You can sleep in the bed with me but NO funny business”. I should have slept on the couch…. That bastard snored and tossed and turned all freaking night long. AND in the morning asks me for a ride to his friend’s house near Lloyd Center. OK, that’s not too far away…..um….. 43rd and Alberta is NO WHERE NEAR LLOYD CENTER!!

This last time he came back, he messaged me on FB the same day he got out and told me that he had been trying to get ahold of me while he was in jail cause he thought I would write to him and he put me on his visitors list. Really? I mean really? He showed up at my house was a couple weekends ago about 10pm totally wasted and walking down the street with a half case of PBR tucked under his arm. We sat outside on the steps for a bit talking. Him telling me that he's gonna take me out for Pho and a walk in the park.... with his $3.00 and on his bike..... bicycle that is. Really? Why are you trying to be all romantic with me? I'm pretty sure we're past that. Then he wanted to come in and "watch a movie"… yeah that ended up in an argument too…. I have to say that we do argue well. I think we’ve perfected it. I pretty much haven’t heard from him since then. But he knows he effed up, cause he left me a message saying so. I was like “yup you sure did', now hop on your Schwinn and ride away.
Oh Puppy, will you ever learn?

XOXO
Darla